The Itchiness Epidemic

So much has been written about the “obesity” epidemic, but today, I'd like to talk about a very frustrating aspect of the fat-phobia that our society engenders, namely, the belief that ALL fat people are constantly stuffing their faces with [insert fatty/evil/fastfood item here] and if they all just got off the couch and DID SOMETHING beyond shoveling food in their cavernous maws, that they'd suddenly look like Jennifer Anniston or Brad Pitt, or whatever flavor of movie star is now considered attractive for each gender respectively.

Setting aside the fact that according to the BMI, Brad Pitt and George Clooney are considered “morbidly obese,” let's instead talk about what the so-called “causes” obesity are purported to be. And, from taking a pretty standard look at the internet and “common knowledge” at large, the two main things I keep seeing over and over again are that people are fat because:

A) They are lazy and do nothing whatsoever (ie: total immobility)
and
B) They are constantly eating “bad” food and food in unhealthy amounts.

Now, of course, most of you might think that this is a pretty large assumption (pun intended) if we were talking about any other physical manifestation.

Let's take, for example, itchiness.

Sometimes itchiness can be attributed to stupid behaviors on the part of the itcher; say, rolling oneself through a valley of poison oak.

Now, I know you think that this is probably a ridiculous idea, but I actually KNOW a guy who did this on a regular basis because he lived out in the country. However, the funny thing about this guy is that the poison oak didn't really seem to affect him. Even when he was running around in there wearing only swim trunks because he was retrieving a beach ball that had flown down there from the pool up on the deck, he never got ONE RASH.

Now, you or I would probably NEVER do such a thing because we know that we'd be red and swollen and itching from head to toe. And yet, some people CAN do it, but I would probably not advise it.

Now, we know that you can be itchy for any reason from the mundane to the life-threateningly dangerous. Some people just taste delicious to mosquitoes, while others do not. No one would accuse a person of being bit by mosquitoes because they have some sort of personal failing, and yet the same sort of thing happens when someone gains weight. And then there are dangerous reasons for itching, such as liver failure (which can cause itchiness all over the body for no real reason). Of course, upon reading that, you probably became itchy for no real reason because that's the way that the mind works (sometimes we think we are itchy when in fact, our bodies are not; silly brain!). But you would not suddenly think that your itchiness is not a direct result of doing something STUPID, such as rolling around in poison oak.

Now, think about a world in which itchiness is considered to be a condition that is a product of dancing naked in poison oak and that no one would ever be itchy if people only kept their stupid butts out of itchy plant range. Think about how we would become paranoid about even the slightest itch; terrified that if someone sees us doing anything about it that you will be seen as an idiot who can't control yourself. Think about how people would take to hiding in closets, itching themselves for hours on end, some even to the point of ripping and tearing the skin, simply to satisfy the need that they keep themselves from indulging in all day.

Now, of course, there are some very rare people who hardly ever itch. I mean, these people could probably count their experiences with itchiness on one hand. But these people are few and far between. The majority of us have itches here and there, especially at the most embarrassing moments and in the worst places to be seen scratching (thanks, Murphy's Law!). But then there are people on the other end of the spectrum, who just itch for no real medical reason, almost all the time.

If you are “unnaturally itchy” no one blames you, or treats you like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. No one would assume that you have been taking baths in poison oak just to piss off everyone around you by your continued scratching. And no one would jump to the conclusion that the second you get an itch on that part of your back where you can't reach without assistance of some sort, that your liver is failing and you are about to die.

And yet, watch people pull these same sorts of arguments with fat people (or, really, people who I would never consider “fat” at all). In our culture, we obsess about the pounds to the extreme. No one can even put on clothes without the inevitable topic of fatness coming up in some form. Everyone has wondered if something that doesn't fit right is “making them look fat,” even if the clothing item is not too small because of fat, but perhaps because of other types of growth (muscle, puberty, frame growth, pregnancy, etc).

I posit that the whole “fat people are bad people because of eating unhealthy/not moving” argument is a completely idiotic idea, because, as we have learned from our itch analogy:

A) there are thin and normal-sized people who eat unhealthy and do not move but do not get the hate and attacks to change their behaviors (ie: “being an idiot” is not necessarily dependent on how much you manifest a physical symptom, be it itchiness or fat rolls)

and

B) There are plenty of us who do everything “right” but still have extra pounds hanging around on us (and some might say that said “extra pounds” aren't extra at all, but that they are constructed by society to be seen as abnormal, regardless of how normal they truly are), similar to those of us who itch regardless of our healthy livers, strict avoidance of poison oak, and liberal usage of mosquito repellant.

So why should people hate someone else for a completely natural physical manifestation?

Well, first of all, it's EASY to hate someone who is physically different than others, but considering that tall people can play basketball and short people have a special group to protect them from discrimination, the only thing left is to make fun of people who don't have a convenient or legally mandated “excuse” for their appearance-ie: people who look just like everyone else only look fatter than the average person.

Secondly, I think that it's also because while we don't expect a little person to grow to “normal” size, or expect a tall person to shrink to fit our socially defined ideas of what we like to look at, we also seem to think that, secretly, anyone can look a certain way if they REALLY WANT TO. But that's just as ridiculous as saying that you'll never itch again if you just have enough “self control” to never scratch. I'm sure that even those of you who aren't all that itchy are now starting to wonder if you are a “normally” itchy person, or if you're some sort of freak of nature for having to scratch from time to time.

But think of how much time we waste on our fear of fat, on our neurosis completely surrounding “the battle of the bulge” and the otherwise ridiculous amount of serious weight we give to everyone else who has an opinion about how we look and the distorted views we allow to be considered as a “norm” for everyone, regardless of the utter fact of the literally infinite combination of body shapes, frames and genetically predetermined adult size.

Think of how we, amazingly, do not spend any time whatsoever freaking out about how much our bodies itch. Our bodies itch, we scratch it. Or we put on cream if it's a bite or rash. We don't assume that a mosquito bite is a death sentence, and that our boyfriends will dump us if they see it.

So why should we treat our fat like this?

(And damn, I've had to scratch myself at least a few dozen times in the last ten minutes while writing this piece. I guess that makes me an “itchie”in addition to being a “fattie.”)